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8/25/2018 0 Comments

I Talk to Myself, to Reflect

photo courtesy of thatsister.com

As a young girl, I did sleepovers. Some of my best memories and sadly, some of my worst, too. But we're keeping it positive today. This particular sleepover story is about the momma that always washed dishes while we played or watched TV. Normal, but she did something that made me and my friends giggle. She talked to herself. Out loud. With emotion and intonation and like she was having a real live conversation with somebody. She would tilt her head. Contort her face. And ask questions. She'd often stop and notice us laughing. She'd say, "I know yall laughing at me," and then go on about her business.

As a child, I had no idea what that business was, but as an adult, I do. She is one of the nicest women I know. She always treated her children and me with the utmost of kindness respect. I never saw her lash out at them and I witnessed her gently correcting and advising them and they had the kind of relationship where she allowed her children to offer advice to her and guess what, she listened to them and if it was worth adhering, she followed their exhortations. Shocking?!?! Shouldn't be. I realize now that this mama was processing her thoughts ALOUD as she washed those dishes. She was reflecting over her day, her life in such an animated way so that she didn't unload the frustrations of her life on her children when they would act, well, like children.

There is a reason she could respond in gentleness to her children, she had learned how to respond with gentleness to her self. Yes. There was a song I use to sing as a little girl with the lyrics, "I talk to myself 'cause there is no one to talk to. People ask me why, why I do what I do." Well, I know why she did it. I learned much from her. I admire her and her children greatly. She has impacted my life in more ways than I count and I'm sure many more ways that will be revealed later to me as I employ what she unknowingly taught me to do...REFLECT.

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8/21/2018 0 Comments

24 Things That All Little Black Boys Need To Know

By Niya Martinez, Krischa Esquivel and Pia Mattix Davis

Yesterday this beautiful article (click the button below) from 2016 came across my timeline, and as I read it, I knew that little black boys needed to hear this exact message, or something tailored for their place in today's society. I and my team of exceptional Positive Parenting passionate moderators produced this list of what little black boys need to hear every day on their journey to manhood in a country, or a world, that is often wary or resentful of their presence.

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1) It's okay to be afraid. It's not okay to let fear rule your decisions.
2) Smile big, smile wide, and smile often.
3) It is okay to Hug another man
4) Don't worry if people stare at you, worry if you ever feel invisible.
5) Don't build walls, build bridges. Make an effort to connect with people from all walks of life.
6) Give people the benefit if the doubt until they prove they don't deserve it.
7) There's no such thing as black music. You can like hip hop, jazz, classical, Apala, Latin, funk, blues, country, punk rock, and gospel.
8) Your culture is beautiful so is everyone else's. Learn yours and theirs and celebrate it!!

9) Ask for help when you need it.
10) Failing does not make you a failure.
11) Cooking is a skill needed to live independently, cleaning is as well. Helping around the house is how you build teamwork
12) You are not a victim, you are a victor.
13) No means no. When someone says no, don’t attempt to manipulate them to change their mind.
14) Your body belongs to you.
15) Stereotypes do not define you. You define you.
16) Respect is earned but it's best when it's freely given to all who share their wisdom with you from the custodian to the CEO.

17) Apologies are what make a man approachable, appreciated and remembered.
18) There are many ways to be strong but suppressing your feelings and masking your emotions is not one of them. It is okay to cry; your feelings are valid.
19) Media never tells the full story. Research the stories of your heroes (and villains) for yourself.
20) Your skin is not a curse, a bad omen, or a burden. Your skin is beautiful, it's a blessing, and it carries inside if it many stories of inherited strength and perseverance.
21) It is okay to give and to receive love. Being hard and tough are needed when you have to protect others. But don't be so hard and tough that you over-protect yourself from ever being known deeply.
22) Your best is enough.
23) You are precious and valuable as you are.
24) Tenderness is evidence of manliness.

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I Talk to Myself, to Reflect

24 Things That All Little Black Boys Need To Know

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YOUR CART

I Talk to Myself, to Reflect

24 Things That All Little Black Boys Need To Know

​Lose Control

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Categories

Lose Control