Nine Years Old: Emerging

Please keep in mind as you read the following lists of developmentally appropriate behaviors, that no two children are alike.  Some children might exhibit all the age-related characteristics, some might exhibit most, and there are some children who might not exhibit more than one or two. 

When using the list below, it is important to also consider your child’s adjusted age if applicable, environmental, and situational factors, the child’s temperament, and if the child is in a period of equilibrium or disequilibrium. ​

A 9-year old child usually but not always:
Outlook

• is described by parents as “in a fog,” “in a daze,” “in another world”
• is more thoughtful than at age eight, and not as unhappy as at age seven
• can have wide mood swings
• may be impatient and short tempered, may have angry flare ups, but gets over them quickly
• is more eager to please, wants to be liked, loves to be chosen, will work for a favor, thrives on praise
• is more independent, self-motivated
• is more dependable and trustworthy
• worries more, is more anxious, more withdrawn, less certain, less speedy than the typical 8-year old
• is restless; boys let off steam by wrestling, girls are more likely to wander around the house

​ ​ Interests

• has various and numerous interests
• loves to collect things
• can keep collections neat and organized
• likes to make checklists, likes to classify, identify and categorize information
• likes to understand how other things are classified, such as the various ranks in the military, car brands and models, types of airplanes
• likes to know what things cost

Intellectual Development

• is willing to attack new and difficult tasks
• is better able to reason things out
• can thoughtfully plan approach to a project or activity
• likes to complete every last detail
• sometimes can exhaust himself trying to get everything finished satisfactorily
• may have trouble finding the time to do everything he has planned
• is willing to do something over and over again in order to become proficient at it
• boys can seem almost obsessed about achieving their goals, especially if there is a time pressure
• makes finer, more detailed evaluations of things, notices subtle differences in things and in emotions
• loves to talk about things; talks less just for the sake of hearing his own voice
• may ignore requests unless they make sense to him
• complains and gives excuses for not doing tasks, such as having some sudden physical ailment (eyes hurt so cannot read, stomach hurts so cannot clean up a mess). These complaints may be legitimate, i.e., the pain is real, but usually it is temporary
• tends to be matter-of-fact about death

School/Learning

• practicing and refining skills learned in the first three grades
• replaces learning to read with reading to learn
• loves to soak up information and memorize facts
• has trouble paraphrasing and explaining the real meanings
• can recognize views of others
• can correct false first impressions using logic
• may find it hard to sit still at school; often drums fingers, hums, sings, whistles, whispers

Ethical Development

• blames others less
• shows the beginnings of a conscience
• is more able to take responsibility for his actions and mistakes
• is very interested in determining what truly is fair
• is especially interested in “Who started it?”
• shows a lot of self-criticism. Won’t accept a compliment if he thinks it is not fully deserved

Imagination

• tells less tall tales and wild exaggerations
• believes less in fairy tales and magic, although may be very superstitious

Friends

• can be a loyal and devoted friend
• is willing to overlook small errors
• doesn’t want to hurt others
• exhibits more intense disdain and disgust for opposite sex
• boys like to “dash about, shouting”
• girls are quieter, like to giggle and whisper
• likes to be a member of a “club” or group

Family relationships

• is less willing to share details of his life with parents
• may question parents always being right and having all the power
• may question the rules
• may seem to be drawing away from the family circle
• may object to being called, “My son,” or “My little girl”
• may not like to talk about when he was younger
• may not want to be recognized in public by a parent
• appreciates grandparents

Mother

• is moving away from earlier preoccupation with mother
• has less interest in her comments or company
• Boys are often sulky around her and frequently find fault with her and can resent her efforts to make them neat and clean

Father

• may be a growing respect for father and for father’s occupation
• enters a new relationship with his father based on shared interests, especially for boys

Siblings

• may get along better than previously did with siblings
• is proud of older siblings
• able to respond nicely to younger siblings, especially if given some responsibility for caring for them

Much of the following information is based on the studies by The Gesell Institute of Human Development, with the primary source being Your One Year Old, by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. Also included is information from Pick Up Your Socks by Elizabeth Crary. This information Can be found at the centerforparentingeducation.org