Three and a half year old: Overwhelming

Please keep in mind as you read the following lists of developmentally appropriate behaviors, that no two children are alike.  Some children might exhibit all the age-related characteristics, some might exhibit most, and there are some children who might not exhibit more than one or two. 

When using the list below, it is important to also consider your child’s adjusted age if applicable, environmental, and situational factors, the child’s temperament, and if the child is in a period of equilibrium or disequilibrium.

A 3 1/2-month old child usually but not always:

• enters a period of marked insecurity and disequilibrium
• can be extremely uncoordinated motorwise: stumbles, falls, may fear heights, hands may tremble, cannot draw firmly
• may become uncoordinated language-wise: may seem to stutter (esp. if was highly verbal previously) — it is as if the mouth can no longer keep up with the mind
• [Note: It is important for parents to stay relaxed and accepting and to not make a big deal over speech struggles in order to prevent a later problem]
• may complain that he cannot see or hear right; may cross eyes frequently
• uses tensional outlets more frequently: nail biting, eye blinking, nose picking, facial tics, grabbing genitals, thumb sucking may increase – 3/12 is a peak time for usage of tensional outlets
• is emotionally insecure which leads to increased whining, crying, frequent questioning “Do you love me?” and frequent complaints “You don’t love me.”
• may say, “I hate you” when frustrated by limits
• is extremely demanding of adults: may demand “Don’t look!” “Don’t talk!” “Don’t laugh!”
• may demand all attention be on him; is very jealous of attention given to others
• is insecure with friends: demands all their attention, shows emotional extremes – shy one minute, over-bearing the next.

Much of the following information is based on the studies by The Gesell Institute of Human Development, with the primary source being Your One Year Old, by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. Also included is information from Pick Up Your Socks by Elizabeth Crary. This information Can be found at the centerforparentingeducation.org