Are you feeding your child too little, too much, or just enough?

These days, lots of us eat too much and don't realize it because we've become so used to seeing (and eating!) large portions.

The Problems of Eating Too Much
People who often overeat are likely to become overweight. They also risk getting a number of medical problems, including high blood pressure, high cholesterol, type 2 diabetes, bone and joint problems, breathing and sleeping problems, and even depression. Adults who are overweight or obese are at greater risk for heart disease, heart failure, and stroke.

It's easy to understand why the food industry tends to serve way more food than is necessary: Customers love to feel like they're getting the best value for their money! But the value meal is no deal when it triples our calories and sets the stage for health problems.

The Truth About Serving Sizes
One reason that people eat too much at meals is that they tend to eat what's on their plate. As portions have increased, so have the calories we eat. So it's helpful to understand the difference between serving sizes and recommended amounts of different foods.

Serving sizes. 
The serving size on a food label is not telling you the amount you should eat. The serving size is a guide to help you see how many calories and nutrients — as well as how much fat, sugar, and salt — are in that quantity of that food.

Sometimes the serving size on the food label will be a lot less than you are used to eating or serving. In some cases, it's perfectly OK (and even a good idea) to eat and serve more than the serving size listed. For example, if you're cooking frozen vegetables and see the serving size is 1 cup, it's no problem to eat more because most vegetables are low in calories and fat, yet high in nutrition.

But when it comes to foods that are high in calories, sugar, or fat, the serving size is a useful guide to alert you that you may be getting more than is healthy. Let's say you buy a 3-ounce bag of cookies and you eat the whole bag. If the label shows the serving size is 1 ounce, not only did you have 3 servings, you also had 3 times the listed calories as well as 3 times the sugar.


Recommended amounts. 
Serving sizes tell you how much nutrition you're getting from a food but they don't tell you which foods you need to stay healthy — or how much of those foods to eat. That's where the U.S. Department of Agriculture's MyPlate comes in.

MyPlate is based on the Dietary Guidelines for Americans. It can help you get the right mix and amount of food for you and your family. 

What to Look for
A great way to think about healthy portion sizes is to use the concept of the "divided plate." Think of a plate divided into four equal sections:

• Use one of the top sections for protein.

• Use the other top section for starch, preferably a whole grain.

• Fill the bottom two sections with veggies (or fruit and veggies).

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The foods in each section should not overlap or be piled high. Dividing the plate this way not only will help you keep portions under control, but will help you serve more balanced meals to your family.

Portion-Control Tips
Parents need to take control of our own portion sizes and help kids learn to do the same.

Here are some tips:

• Serve food on smaller plates so meals look larger. A sandwich on a dinner plate looks lost; on an appetizer plate it looks downright hefty.

• When cooking large batches or storing leftovers, separate them into smaller portions before you put them in the fridge or freezer. That way, when your family reaches in, they'll automatically grab a portion that makes sense.

• Don't let kids eat out of bags or containers. Serve individual portions and make it a rule to eat in the kitchen.

• Dish out meals at the counter and avoid bringing the whole pot to the table. Not keeping the food at arm's length can make your family think twice about reaching for seconds. If they do want seconds, offer more veggies or salads.

• Aim for three scheduled healthful meals and one or two healthy snacks throughout the day. Skipping a meal can lead to overeating at the next one.

• Add more salads and fruit to your family's diet, especially at the start of a meal, which can help control hunger and give a sense of fullness while controlling calorie intake.

• Try not to rush through meals. Go slowly and give everyone a chance to feel full before serving more. Family sit-down meals also provide valuable opportunities to reconnect with one another.

• Don't insist that kids clean their plates. Encourage them to stop eating when they feel full.

• When eating out, share meals, order an appetizer as a main dish, or pack up half to take home before you begin to eat. When getting take out, order fewer meals and serve family style. At fast food restaurants, choose kids meals with healthy options (milk, fruit, or carrots).

Getting Kids Involved
Get kids actively involved in figuring out how much to eat.

A serving of rice is about the same size as an ice cream scoop, so let your child use the scoop to serve "rice cream" to the family. A piece of meat should be about the size of a deck of cards, so see how that chicken breast measures up. And why not break out the kitchen scale while you're at it? Weighing or measuring food may not be your idea of fun, but it probably is to your kids — plus it's a great way to reinforce math concepts.

One easy way to size up portions if you don't have any measurements is to use your hand as a guide. Kids have smaller hands than adults, so it serves as a reminder that kids should eat smaller portions:

• A closed fist is about a cup — and a cup is the amount experts recommend for a portion of pasta, rice, cereal, vegetables, and fruit.

• A meat portion should be about as big as your palm.

• Limit the amount of added fats (like butter, mayo, or salad dressing) to the size of the top of your thumb.

And don't forget the good news about portions: they work both ways. You may want to cut back on spaghetti portions, but you can dish out more than one serving of carrots or green beans. This can help make the "five a day" fruit and vegetable goal more doable.

Remember the role you play in showing kids how to size up portions. If you eat two heaping helpings of food each night, that's what your kids will learn too.
As kids grow, their appetites will vary depending on a number of things. They tend to be more hungry during growth spurts or sports seasons when they're more active, and less hungry during downtimes. As their appetites change, keep serving right-sized portions and encourage them to slow down to enjoy their food. Then check in on whether they're full before they go for seconds.

Parents are often worried when their child eats very little, does not eat healthy foods like fruits and vegetables, or refuses a meal completely. For some, this worry can be significant, particularly if the child is not gaining weight well, or is losing weight. For others, uneaten meals can be a source of frustration.

Often parents find themselves using pressure, force or coercion to try and get their child to finish their meal.

This can take many forms:

• Pressure - "I want you to eat all of your carrots"
• Coaxing - "Just eat that little, tiny piece there"
• Emotional blackmail - "A good girl would eat their dinner after Mummy worked so hard cooking it"
• Use of rules - "Eat your age; three potatoes because you are three years old"
• Bribery - "If you eat everything on your plate then you can leave the table"
• Punishments - "You can't go and play outside unless you finish your spaghetti"
• Force-feeding - physically putting food into the child's mouth and forcing them to swallow

​Although hunger and fullness are internal feelings, research has shown that they can be overridden by a number of factors. Pressure to eat is one way by which children might be urged to eat more than their body requires. 
Over time, feelings of fullness lose their significance, as they no longer signal that the meal should stop. Rather, children learn to continue eating, even after they start to feel full, stopping only when their plate is empty, or when their parent says that it is okay to stop.
This means that children listen less to their body and so food intake becomes dictated by factors other than what the body requires. Research has also shown that children eat on average 30% more when offered a larger portion of food.

What should I do instead?Except in very rare cases, children are extremely good at knowing when they are hungry and when they are full. Therefore, it is important to trust them and believe that they will eat if they are hungry. By doing this, you should not feel a need to pressure your child to eat. This is something that they will do willingly if their body requires food. Similarly, children's natural tendencies to reject new or bitter foods should not be met with pressure. Rather, keep offering foods and accept refusal, acknowledging that this is a normal developmental phase and that what you do is important in determining whether this is a positive or negative experience for your child.

Things to try

1. Examine the evidence
   How long is it since your child last had a snack or filling drink, such as milk? Are they really hungry? Are they too tired to sit at the table and eat well? Is your child unwell and therefore not hungry? Try using a diary to track the number and timings of snacks, drinks, meals, and naps to see if your child's routine could be contributing to their eating behaviour.
   
   
2. Put yourself in their shoes 
   Try to imagine what it would be like if you were not hungry and you were being coaxed to eat, or even force-fed, or if you were unsure of what it was you were being asked to eat. How would you feel? Empathising with your child and seeing your behaviour through their eyes will help you to recognise that this behaviour is likely to have the opposite effect than you intended. Each time your child refuses food, remember to see things from their point of view.
   
   
3. Step back and be objective 
   Eating should be a pleasurable experience for your child that meets a biological need. It is not about satisfying you. Try to get satisfaction from knowing that your child has eaten as much as they desire and that they feel satisfied, rather than from having them eat an amount of food that you have defined.
   
   
4. Trust their tummies
   Our bodies are very good at letting us know when we are hungry and full. However, constant interfering - by asking children to eat when they no longer want to - can disrupt this. Eating when hungry and stopping when full is a behaviour that we want to safeguard, not undermine, so try to allow your child to tell you when they are hungry and full.
   
   
5. Check portion sizes. Children's tummies are smaller than adults' and you may be serving too much food and therefore setting unrealistic expectations. As a guide, a single portion of each food is roughly what would fit in the palm of the child's hand. For example, if serving lasagne, give a palm-sized portion of the lasagne and 2-3 palm-sized portions of vegetables. For dessert, try a palm-sized portion of fruit, with a palm-sized serving of natural yogurt. Remember that all children's appetites differ, but sticking to the 'palm rule' for each food will help you avoid giving over-sized portions of single foods.

As an example, for a two year old, a palm-sized portion of strawberries would equate to three large strawberries.
(Information about suitable portion sizes for toddlers can be found here.

From 6 to 12 months old, breast milk and/or infant formula is still the main source of nutrition for your child, but solid foods will gradually begin to make up a bigger part of his or her diet. As you begin to give food to your child, it can be hard to know how much to give him or her to eat. Children’s bellies are small and cannot hold a lot of food. Here are things to keep in mind:

• Start small. Give 1 or 2 tablespoons of food, and watch for signs that he or she is still hungry or full.
• Balance. Solid foods are introduced over time and will gradually become a bigger part of his or her diet.
• Feeding. Give your child something to eat or drink about every 2 to 3 hours, or about 5 or 6 times a day. This will give your child about 3 meals and 2 to 3 snacks every day.

As your child gets older, he or she may eat different amounts of food each day. This is normal. Beginning around 12 months old, your child grows more slowly than when he or she was younger. Your child may even go a couple of days without eating much at all. Over the course of a week your child should get all of the foods and nutrients he or she needs.

"My 2-year-old used to be a pretty good eater. But now she's going through a phase where she won't even try the vegetables I serve. How can I get more veggies into her mouth and off the floor?
– Mila"

As most parents know, there are two things you can't force a child to do: eat and sleep. This is especially true of toddlers, who often assert their independence through eating — or not eating — the foods you put on their plates.

Many toddlers turn their noses up at vegetables. But don't give up — with time and patience, even the pickiest eaters can find several veggies they like (and a few they even love!).

Here are some tips that might help:

• Don't give in to a food jag. Most young children go through phases where they want to eat the same thing day after day. But that doesn't mean you have to go along with it. Serving a variety of foods, including vegetables, will encourage your daughter to be more flexible when she's hungry.


• If at first you don't succeed, try and try again. Studies have shown it may take 10 or more tries before a child accepts a new food. Try serving a small portion so it's less overwhelming or consider pairing veggies with something you know she likes.

• Avoid nagging, forcing, bargaining, or bribing. All of these tactics create power struggles and are doomed to fail in the long run. Just continue offering veggie choices and encourage her to give them a try. Keep mealtime moods upbeat.

• Set a good example. Have family meals together and let your child see you eating a variety of nutritious foods yourself. Also, toddlers are also more likely to eat what their peers eat, so look for opportunities where she can eat healthfully with friends.

• Involve her in choosing the vegetables you serve. For example, she could decide whether you'll have green beans or broccoli tonight, or whether you'll bake zucchini or carrot muffins. Simple choices will help her feel a sense of control.

• Make it fun. Try making a veggie face (like cucumber eyes, tomato nose, green bean mouth, and shredded carrot hair). Try serving veggies with yogurt dip or sprinkled with cheese.

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One thing to keep in mind when serving fresh fruit and veggies: Raw vegetables and hard fruits can be a choking hazard for young children. Be sure to cook them well, and thinly slice or cut them into small enough pieces so that they're not a choking risk.