Before I came to my senses and made the decision to wash my pump parts at work instead of transporting them to and from home each day, there were many mornings that I lacked the necessary tools to relieve my ever increasingly engorged breasts of milk.
At the time my husband and I shared a car and he dropped me off at work, so returning home was not an option, neither was making a run to Walmart. On the days that I knew my husband was available, I would call him and he would bring me the pieces that I needed. Once a close friends who also pumps had her husband bring her spare pump to my office, and on another occasion, a complete stranger responded to my request for assistance in a local breastfeeding group.
If I, a working mom with two children, can be rescued in my time of need, then why can't that same grace be extended to children? The lessons learned during childhood mold us into the adults that we become. Those lessons should serve to build character and instill the traits needed to thrive. If I forget my lunch at home I can reach into my purse, pull out my credit card and order take out. If I forget a work assignment I can drive home and retrieve it before the deadline. A child in school does not have those options. There option is to call mom or dad. I don't see this as a lesson in problem solving, as much as I see it as a reminder that the problems of children are not given the same consideration as those of adults.
By Pia Mattix Davis
I refuse to eat raw or cooked spinach unless it is in a casserole or sauce. My oldest son only eats broccoli, while my baby is a fickle pickle and will devour asparagus one day and spit it out the next. As their parent, it is my job to provide wholesome meals, but I don't have the time, energy, or the desire to force either boy to consume unappealing foods.
I loved spinach up until 4 or 5 years ago, but one day I detected a filmy texture that lingered. I attempted to eat spinach on many other occasions, but the filmy texture remained. Up until last year my oldest refused to even consider eating sushi. One day I convinced him to try a bite and since then has has been hooked!
What is my point you ask?
We as parents can't respectfully force our children to eat the foods that we enjoy. Stuffing a child's mouth full of collard greens or forcing them to remain at the table until the liver is gone will not cultivate a love for that particular food. Instead it builds anger, and creates resentment and can rob a child of the possibility of one day enjoying something that they once despised.
We work hard to fashion our children into rational, human beings, so can't we trust and honor their choice when they tell us that they don't like green beans?
by Pia Mattix Davis
Incorporating Positive Parenting into our daily routine is not the same for us as it is for mothers of other ethnicities. Our community has a history of fear and control based parenting that is rooted in slavery and a reaction to systemic racism. Our past is real, but we can’t allow it to destroy our children.
Slavery denied our ancestors of their humanity through the use of shaming and both mental and physical abuse. As parents, when we resort to these measures to punish (control) our children, we strip our greatest assets of their humanity.