Seven Years Old: Melancholy

​Please keep in mind as you read the following lists of developmentally appropriate behaviors, that no two children are alike.  Some children might exhibit all the age-related characteristics, some might exhibit most, and there are some children who might not exhibit more than one or two. 

When using the list below, it is important to also consider your child’s adjusted age if applicable, environmental, and situational factors, the child’s temperament, and if the child is in a period of equilibrium or disequilibrium. 


A 7-year old usually but not always:

• is calmer than at age 6
• is thoughtful and a good listener
• loves to think, observe, and reflect
• is self-absorbed
• loves to argue but goes along with solutions
• likes to plan his own days
• has increasing control over body, thoughts, and temper
• is less selfish and more forgiving

Mood

• is moody, morose, melancholy
• broods and sulks
• often asks, “Why do I have to?” and “Why should I?”
• does not respond well to humor
• is hard to satisfy
• is easily disappointed

Intellectual Growth

• is absent-minded
• procrastinates
• is easily distracted

Friends

• thinks others are mean, hateful, unfriendly, always picking on him, not liking him
• may tell stories of maltreatment
• may join several peers to gang up on one child or may become target of other children ganging up on him
• does not want others to laugh at him

Fears

• has overcome some previous fears such as of the dentist or swimming
• has new worries, including:
  • not doing well in school
  • hurricanes (or any natural disaster)
  • war
  • that family won’t have enough money
  • people he loves will die
  • that any pain or discomfort is a sign of a fatal illness
  • being late for school
  • the dark

Privacy

• wants control and privacy
• likes a room of his own to which he can retreat
• does not like to be touched or seen without clothes
• may talk to himself in front of mirror

Parents

• gets along rather well with mother
• wants her support and sympathy
• believes parents like the other children in the family more than they like him
• admires father, especially boys may “worship” them

Siblings

• fights with siblings
• is best with much older and much younger siblings
• with siblings close in age, things are “just not fair enough”
• enjoys family outings
• less tattling

Sex

• may not notice sex differences
• are “mushy”
• some, especially boys, are more hostile towards the opposite sex

School/Learning

• enjoys learning
• can idolize a teacher
• may have a crush on a teacher
• frequently asks for permission to do tasks
• wants to be special
• at home, can complain a lot about school
• not a good messenger for bringing papers home from school
• may give a “gift” to the teacher that actually is something that belongs to mother
• enjoys reading as skills improve
• understands time better (which may be why there is an increase in worrying about being late)
• sets high standards for self, wants perfect scores and papers, erases a lot
• perseveres once starts an activity

Physical development

• has more headaches, rubs eyes
• complains of pain, especially knee pains
• is more coordinated
• is more cautious

Play

• not as adventuresome
• can stick with one activity for a long time
• can play competitive games better because winning is not so important
• likes computer play
• likes to collect things
• loves nature
• loves to participate in sports

Frequent use of

• “I can’t”
• “This is serious”
• “I feel embarrassed”
• a lot of self-criticism

Ethics

• tries to live up to standards for being “good”
• tries to tell the truth, but is quick with excuses
• believes fairness is very important
• may collect things that really don’t belong to him

Suggestions for parenting your 7-year old

• Use a gentle approach
• Show appreciation
• Provide reasonable amounts of sympathy
• Do not take reports of unfairness too seriously
• Stay calm

Much of the following information is based on the studies by The Gesell Institute of Human Development, with the primary source being Your One Year Old, by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. Also included is information from Pick Up Your Socks by Elizabeth Crary. This information Can be found at the centerforparentingeducation.org