six year old: Self Centered

​Please keep in mind as you read the following lists of developmentally appropriate behaviors, that no two children are alike.  Some children might exhibit all the age-related characteristics, some might exhibit most, and there are some children who might not exhibit more than one or two. 

When using the list below, it is important to also consider your child’s adjusted age if applicable, environmental, and situational factors, the child’s temperament, and if the child is in a period of equilibrium or disequilibrium. 


A 6-year old child usually but not always:

• is expansive and out of bounds
• is dramatic and loud
• likes to show off
• can be very affectionate
• can be extremely enthusiastic and adventuresome
• asks a lot of questions
• is demanding, contrary or combative
• is competitive – needs to be the fastest, best, the winner
• may be aggressive
• is stubborn
• cries easily when hurt physically
• tends to fling clothes all over the house
• often loses shoes
• suddenly seems clumsy and uncoordinated
• may go through parents’ private stuff

​Emotions

• has a hard time dealing with any failure
• cannot bear to lose or be criticized
• loves to be flattered and praised
• can be ambivalent, may have trouble making choices
• is easily hurt emotionally

Parents

• sees self, not the mother, as the center of the universe
• goes from hating mother to loving her; can fear that she will get sick, die, not be there
• when he comes home from school
• may think father knows everything
• is at his best and worst with primary caregiver

School/Learning

• likes to learn and be read to
• frequently reverses letters and numbers
• wants to be good at school
• likes to conform
• may like a “strict” teacher
• can get confused if school rules differ from home rules
• relationship with teacher is not as intense as it will be in another year

Siblings

• can be very jealous
• can be very bossy, especially with younger siblings
• argues, bullies, torments, hits

Friends

• can make friends easily, but relationships tend to be stormy because he is so stormy
• aggressive, quarrelsome, belligerent
• excitable, emotional
• will cheat to win and will accuse others of cheating

Eating

• stuffs mouth
• talks with mouth full
• grabs for food
• knocks over milk
• falls off chair
• wants “biggest” piece

Bedtime is easier than at 5 1/2

• likes to talk before bed
• may rebel at bedtime
• sleeps well

Elimination

• occasionally has a daytime accident
• will be very ashamed about such accidents

Tensional outlets increase

• restless, hands always busy, wiggles, kicks
• temper tantrums
• bites fingernails
• chews on hair or pencils
• picks nose

Many health complaints

• legs hurt
• arms hurt
• back of neck hurts
• scalp is very sensitive
• increased illnesses
• mucous membranes are easily irritated
• peak of ear infections
• complains that it is too hot and perspires easily
• increased allergies
• more accidents
• hates the sight of blood and anything that penetrates the body
• makes a big fuss whenever hurt

Parents may feel

• incompetent
• out of control
• angry and losing their tempers a lot
• the 6 year old may remind parents of 2 1/2-year old

Suggestions for parenting your 6-year old

• offer frequent validation​
• use counting (“Let’s see if you can do that by the time I count to ten”)
• use of clock (“See if you can do that by 3 o’clock”)
• side-step versus confront issues i.e. change subject, if possible
• negotiate whenever possible
• ignore unless it is life-threatening, morally wrong or dangerous (B. Coloroso)

Much of the following information is based on the studies by The Gesell Institute of Human Development, with the primary source being Your One Year Old, by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. Also included is information from Pick Up Your Socks by Elizabeth Crary. This information Can be found at the centerforparentingeducation.org