Sixteen Years old: Balancing Autonomy

Please keep in mind as you read the following lists of developmentally appropriate behaviors, that no two children are alike.  Some children might exhibit all the age-related characteristics, some might exhibit most, and there are some children who might not exhibit more than one or two. 

When using the list below, it is important to also consider your child’s adjusted age if applicable, environmental, and situational factors, the child’s temperament, and if the child is in a period of equilibrium or disequilibrium. 


An 16-year old usually but not always:
Emotional

• is more self-possessed and under better control
• has greater self-reliance
• shows a deeper self-contentedness
• is cheerful, friendly, outgoing, well-adjusted, self-assured
• likes to banter and enjoys laughter – teasing is good-natured
• is more tolerant of world, takes life as it comes
• is not as self-critical
• is not as moody or ruled by emotions, not as touchy, cries infrequently, can curb anger
• does not worry and tells others “Don’t worry about me”

Intellectual

• is more oriented towards the future– plans for college, can talk about marriage in serious vein
• is less impulsive and shows better judgment

Social

• is interested in human nature
• is more willing to see another’s point of view
• is interested in people– likes to build up multiple friendships – much companionship on a non-romantic basis
• is less influenced by peer group
• likes to meet friends in own home     

Family

• has fewer arguments with family members, including siblings
• separates from home, may get summer job or attend special camp
  

​​Summary of adolescence:

• 10 is reminiscent of 5 – self-contained, relaxed, direct, easy give-and-take
• 11 is tense, questioning, searches and tests self through conflicts with others
• 12 is better balanced – accepts others, more objective, fluctuates from childish to mature attitudes
• 13 withdraws – reminiscent of 7
• 14 more outgoing, compares self with others
• 15 is more introspective – explores self in relation to ideas, ideals, opinions of others
• 16 more at ease, independent, self-reliant

Much of the following information is based on the studies by The Gesell Institute of Human Development, with the primary source being Your One Year Old, by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. Also included is information from Pick Up Your Socks by Elizabeth Crary. This information Can be found at the centerforparentingeducation.org