Twelve Years Old: Maturing

Please keep in mind as you read the following lists of developmentally appropriate behaviors, that no two children are alike.  Some children might exhibit all the age-related characteristics, some might exhibit most, and there are some children who might not exhibit more than one or two. 

When using the list below, it is important to also consider your child’s adjusted age if applicable, environmental, and situational factors, the child’s temperament, and if the child is in a period of equilibrium or disequilibrium. ​

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An 12-year old usually but not always:

• shows many changes for the better
• is less impulsive, more reasonable, more companionable, and shows better self-control
• can be more objective
• is more insightful
• doesn’t want to be seen as a “baby” – works at being grown-up
• accepts correction and discipline
• can atone for guilt felt

Social

• can be excellent conversational company
• is friendly, out-going, cooperative, ready to please, spontaneous, positive and enthusiastic
• has a growing sense of humor, more cheerful, sociable
• is less naive in social relationships
• gets along better with all peers
• is influenced by the attitudes and interests of peer group
• shows empathy and can views things from the standpoint of others
• wants to win approval from others

School/Learning

• likes to learn
• shows warm admiration for firm, well-informed teacher who has sense of humor
• can work independently, but desires group activity
• seizes opportunities for discussion or debate of political and civic issues
• shows increase in conceptual thinking, in abstracts
• shows initiative (example: might start own newspaper)

Family

• shows increased tact when caring for younger siblings
• has improved mother-daughter relationship

Summary of adolescence:

• 10 is reminiscent of 5 – self-contained, relaxed, direct, easy give-and-take
• 11 is tense, questioning, searches and tests self through conflicts with others
• 12 is better balanced – accepts others, more objective, fluctuates from childish to mature attitudes
• 13 withdraws – reminiscent of 7
• 14 more outgoing, compares self with others
• 15 is more introspective – explores self in relation to ideas, ideals, opinions of others
• 16 more at ease, independent, self-reliant

Much of the above information is based on the studies by The Gesell Institute of Human Development, with the primary source being Your One Year Old, by Louise Bates Ames, Ph.D. Also included is information from Pick Up Your Socks by Elizabeth Crary. This information Can be found at the centerforparentingeducation.org