December 28th, 2018

Toy Jail​

This image came from a toddler page, so we should take into account what we know about toddlers.
Toddlers are stubborn.
Toddlers are willful.
Toddlers are willing to please.
Toddlers are temperamental.
Toddlers are autonomy seeking.
Toddlers are learning everyday.

People who are learning don't always do exactly what they should do because they are learning, and parents of toddlers should know this. When it is time for a toddler to clean, we should ask them to pick up specific toys, not just ask them to clean up.  It is overwhelming to ask a little person to clean up a room full of clutter.  Even if there are only a few items strewn about, telling your child specifically what to pick up and where to put it helps the child to know what exactly you as the parent expect.  If the child does not understand or seems resistant, simply help with the process. Once you begin to clean your child, your child will most likely come and help. If your child is tired hungry or upset, he or she probably won't comply, and forcing them to help will often result in a power struggle that the parent will not win. If a parent takes a toy and puts it into a box, what are they proving? What chore can a toddler complete that will teach then why they should pick up their toys? What lesson does this communicate to a toddler or a preschooler other than if you don't listen to me, I am going to take your toy.

It does not teach that we clean up so that we don't hurt ourselves, or that we clean before dinner, or before bed.  In Positive Parenting and Positive Discipline, the goal is to teach out children lessons that will last a lifetime, not to inflict punishments to prove a point.  A one or two year old child will benefit more from working as a team with mom and dad to keep their play area clean as opposed to parents having unrealistic expectations about what a toddler can and can not do.